For those who know it, Bill’s character is perpetually stuck waking up to the same day over and over.
Stories like Groundhog Day speak to a very relevant and relatable issue many of us encounter. That is, we are often living our own Groundhog Day; living in a revolving door; a life full of copy and paste patterns and habits. It can be so frustrating especially if we are aware of it.
We may have goals. We may want to change and even know what we need to do. But so often and commonly we don’t do anything and it’s a tragedy in my opinion.
Why? Why do we fail to take action? Why do we stay in a pattern of living that we don’t want to be in? Why, if we feel unfulfilled and unhappy as men, and stress ourselves out, do we not go - “righto, that’s it, that’s enough”?
In short, change is hard. And whilst we may even have a life that looks good on the outside, if the inside life – our thoughts, emotions etc are uneasy, unhappy, stressed etc then no amount of ‘outside’ pleasures is going to change that.
And it’s likely that your idea of happiness and fulfilment was to be derived from attaining external pleasures and achieving external successes.
These things aren’t to be demonised and they are positive things, but they can never make us truly happy and fulfilled as men unless our inner worlds are aligned with our outer world. When these are at odds we experience self-doubt, stress, anxiety or even depression.
The main reason we fail to take consistent action to live and be the man we feel we can be is because of fear and resistance.
We think and do the things we do every day because they are rooted in significant past experiences throughout our critical developmental periods. We do what we do to maximise our life experience, but our primary motivator, whether we’re conscious of his or not, is fear.
Better the devil we know
As a consequence, we are resistant to change – even for the perceived better. Change is unknown and ‘better the devil we know’, right! This leads to frustrations and inner questioning of ourselves like – “why can’t I change”?
Why don’t I feel good enough as a man”? or “…not living the life or being the ‘man’ I think I should be”. The word ‘should’ is key here and again speaks to the past and your idea of yourself has been shaped by how you think you should be; what you believe to be acceptable by others and to yourself.
So, when trying to change you’re going up against long held and die-hard belief systems of what you think you should be, or even more likely, how you think you shouldn’t be. This creates strong avoidant and resistant emotions to change.
The first step is to get conscious of this. Until then nothing is going to change and you’re going to chase more and more validation and fulfillment from the outside and from worldly pursuits.
Ironically the more you try outwardly to fix your inward self, the more frustrated and stressed you can feel. Even worse, can lead to breakdowns, relationship and mental health issues.
What we need to change is our thinking and our goals. They are interconnected and they must be. You must change your mindset and address patterns of negative thinking to do things differently.
And to support this you need to have and set goals that are meaningful to you. Truly to you! I suggest one change and one goal at a time. It could be around health or your work. But the goal gives you a focal point and a motivating reason to also change your thoughts.
The actions required to achieve your goal mean you need to think differently in order to take the necessary steps.
When you do things differently along with thinking about yourself and the things you’re doing differently, this creates new networks in your brain and the more consistent you are with these changes the more reinforced it becomes. Thus, change is made and maintained. Groundhog Day no more.
Start small. Start with one thing at a time. Little by little we build our power. We need to build confidence slowly and trust the process. You know you want to change, and you can. Sometimes some guidance is all you need.
The more you’re doing and living the life and way you want to, the happier and more fulfilled you’ll feel as a man.
As a special gift to readers, I’m giving away my E-Book to anyone who’d like to learn about this in more detail to work on their mindset and break free of their own little Groundhog Day. Just click on the link: https://adobe.ly/3DsybIS I hope you enjoy and find it helpful. You’ve got this!
Marcus Whelan is a Registered Psychologist and Mental Fitness Coachwith 10+ years’ experience in private practice. He holds undergraduate and postgraduate degrees in psychology and education. Visit: www.marcuswhelanpsychology.com.au
